Breakups really hurt. But being able to have a healthy conversation around it can soften the blow. Over the past few months, Charlie and I have gotten more serious about our relationship. It was kind of weird because when we started dating, they indicated that it wasn’t going to be too serious. I think that’s part of why I wasn’t too shocked when they asked if we could talk. 

We went on a walk that afternoon, and they said they’d been thinking about our relationship. Charlie seemed really nervous about it, but reiterated that they had committed to something casual and fun with me, and while they really cared about me as a friend, they just weren’t ready for how serious things were getting. I agreed that even though it hurt, we probably weren’t the best match right now. Dating them made me realize that even though I said I was cool with nothing serious, I actually want a long term relationship with someone. We went our separate ways. It feels really painful right now, but honestly, I’m glad we were able to avoid it getting any more serious, especially since that’s not what they wanted.

Healthy Breakups

Dating someone is not a static position. You may find that over time, you and what you want in your relationship may change. When this happens, it is very important to make sure both you and the other person or people are aware of this, and that you are all on the same page. If your relationship goals are no longer aligned and neither of you want or feel the need to adjust your approaches, then it may be time to end the relationship. This can be a really painful process, but understand that it often is the best option for both parties. A clean break is preferable to a long, drawn out relationship that not both parties are interested in.

Ask yourself: Are mine and my partner’s wants in the relationship compatible? Have they changed over time? Do I feel the need to hide my real feelings from them?